Kuan Yoow and Septa's Wedding Dinner
The Diamond Ballroom, Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.
6.30pm. By the time I stepped into the ballroom, there were already about 30 guests there sipping cocktails and engaging in small talks with each other within their circles of friends. As I don't know anyone in particular there, except for the bride I helped myself to a cola drink and some tit bits and then mingled anonymously in the crowd. Surveying the mixed crows of people I noted that most of the male guests there were formally dressed in suits while their female spouses were elegantly dressed in evening gowns.
Nobody seemed to be manning the long reception table and except for a plan of the table arrangement I didn't see any guest lists around. Looking at the table arrangement plan I counted 26 tables, with the VIP table in the centre and next to the stage.
Finally a distinguished looking gentlemen wearing a necktie and a black suit accompanied by a few ladies came over to the empty reception table.
"May I register my attendance?" I asked the gentleman. "Sorry I am still looking for the guest list", he replied sheepishly as if in embarrassment with a broad smile. "It's OK. I will register later", I assured him as I retreated from the table.
Then when the guest list arrived I approached the same gentleman there again because at that time he was the only person standing there at the head of the reception table. After scanning through the guest list he could not find my name. "Septa invited me to the dinner", I said trying to be helpful as he was fumbling awkwardly with the name list. Septa, the bride who invited me to the dinner was a former Aikido student when she was studying in INTi College about 10 years ago. Finally as both of us were going through the names someone handed him a sheet of paper with more names printed on it. My name was registered on that sheet of paper. "You table number is 14", he pronounced with an air of relief and triumph.
It was later when everybody was seated at their tables that I realised that the distinguished looking gentleman who registered me is none other than the bridegroom's father.
Iremember the trials and tribulations that I had to go through when planning for the guest list for my daughter's wedding dinner in Kuala Lumpur. It was in June 29 2013 that my family had to organise a wedding dinner for my daughter's marriage to Nicholas.
Now 3 months after that event I have to go through the same exercise to plan the guest list for my son's wedding dinner in November.
However this time the planning should be much easier and faster as the I have the experience of doing the same work the last time to guide me.
I started work this morning using the Excel template for my daughter's wedding dinner guest list that I saved just for this occasion.
Learning from the previous experience my family has decided to invite less people than before. This time my family has decided to invite only immediate relatives and close friends. Cousins and nephews are excluded from the wedding guest list.
Nevertheless even with a shorter guest list I do not anticipate plain sailing. On the other hand I would expect many revisions to the first list before it is finalised.
It was a beautiful and bright morning and the sun was just coming out as I habitually checked my Samsung cell phone for calls and messages.
"Daddy..wake up liao bo? I am inside the KLIA express train lu at 6.45am...", the text message from my daughter seemed to scream at me with excitement in her usual bubbly style of talk.
Amy and Nicholas were on the KLIA Express train heading towards KLIA International Airport. They were en route to their first honeymoon in Australia.
How nice and romantic for this generation of newly weds! Married on Sun in Malacca and today, 2 days later already flying off for a vacation overseas.
After 34 years of happy marriage I still owe my wife a honeymoon vacation. Occasionally I would get a nudge on the ribs and a gentle reminder from her about that episode of our marriage that I didn't fulfill. It is not that we have not holidayed overseas before. But I suppose those past happy vacations in Thailand with relatives and friends weren't romantic enough to count as honeymoon.
Back then our dire straits did not permit us to afford lavish wedding dinners and a post wedding holiday in the country, not to mention an overseas honeymoon. Our wedding was as bare bone and basic as two people could afford: no entourage of relatives and friends to accompany us to register our marriage except for our rent lord and rent lady who were roped in at the last minute as witness, no in-studio and on-location photograph shooting sessions that are part and parcel of modern day wedding photography packages, a simple 12 table wedding dinner, no post-wedding holiday, and no home to start our married life other than our rented room in a terraced house. At that time my wife was a factory production operator and I working as a junior draftsman for a contractor. As both sides of our family were not wealthy we had to rely on our own resources rather than financial assistance from our families to fund our marriage.
I remember the morning after our wedding my wife dutifully woke up early in the morning to help her new mother-in-law mom prepare breakfast, sweep the floor, wash laundry, cooked lunch and dinner and do other household chores. After one day of rest on Sun both of us returned from my home town Ipoh to our rented room in KL on Monday by bus to resume our day jobs.
Although our marriage story is hardly the stuff of high romance and the ideal template to offer to today's newly weds it worked at that time and is still working today; perhaps it is the shared hardships through the years that is the cement that binds two soul mates together even to this day.
After our son's marriage at the end of the year, I guess it will be a good time to think about where to take the wife to for our first honeymoon vacation. Who is to say that oldies don't have romantic notions and can't have their honeymoon?
Wishing Nicholas and Amy enjoy a happy honeymoon vacation.
For a father I considered this as one of the most manly act that I have ever accomplished.
On 7/7/2013 at the wedding reception in Melaka, walking hand in hand with my dear daughter and escorting her up the aisle I was very pleased to give her hand to the groom, the new man in her life.
I and my wife wish Nicholas and Amy everlasting happiness in their marriage.
The Registrar of Marriage at Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara was packed with couples together with their entourages by the time my family walked into the waiting area at 9.30am. I estimated at least 200 people had already gathered in the reception hall.
Nicholas's family comprising Mr and Mrs Fan, Nicholas and May Fam, Nicholas's sister had arrived half hour before us. As for my family there were only three of us, myself, my wife and daughter Amy. Compared to others who were accompanied with big entourage of relatives and friends, including photographers our group of 7 was probably one of the smallest.
May Fam clutching the DSLR camera was obviously assigned as the official photographer for the event.
12.00pm. Finally after enduring about 2-1/2 hours of waiting for our turn an officer finally ushered our two families into the marriage ceremony function room on the right side of the hall.
Once inside the we were amazed by the enormous size of the room. By my estimate the room measuring about 36 sq meters can easily accommodate not less than 30 people. I know because in one of the ceremonies before ours I counted at least 28 people entering and leaving the room. With three rows of chairs for the guests to witness the ceremony the room even has enough space for three different designs of backdrops for photography taking.
The solemnization ceremony which lasted only about 15 minutes was a simple affair with a smiling officer reading out the marriage citations in Bahasa Malaysia and witnessing the exchange of wedding rings. Both myself and Mr Fan sitting on opposite sides of a long table signed the papers as witnesses.
The next 15 minutes were spent taking photographs. Of all the shots the one I consider the most significant is the group photo taking at my request in front of a wall with the "Selamat Berbahagia" signboard mounted on it and the Coat of arms of Malaysia (Jata Negara) emblem standing sentinel above it.
After the marriage ceremony ended and in a quiet moment while driving to Puchong for lunch with the in-laws I reflected on my own marriage in Sep 19, 1979 in Kuala Lumpur. On reflection I thought how blessed Nicholas and Amy are in comparison to my marriage.
On that day only 4 people attended the marriage ceremony, me, my wife, my rent lord and the rent lady acting as witnesses. There was no fanfare, no photography session, both my parents and my wife's parents were not present and after the ceremony ended we went straight back to work.
After so many years I have no memories of that day except for that "Selamat Berbahgia" signboard guarded by the Coat of arms of Malaysia emblem bearing silent witness to our happy and enduring marriage of 34 years. That is why I requested for a group photo to be taken in front of that "Selamat Berbahagia" signboard.
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