Liberation and release from sufferings.

My mother passed away at 10.15pm in Ipoh on this day. She was 82 years old on the day of her death.

Late night phone calls hours before her passing
7.30pm Inti College Nilai car park, minutes before I was to conduct the Wed self defence class. My third brother TM told me on the phone that Mother suffered a stroke last night and felled down on the floor bruising the temple on the right side of her head. As a result her mouth was twisted one side, lost the ability to swallow fluid, lost bodily sensation on one side of the body, her right temple was swollen due to the fall, couldn't speak. He told me that the family doctor who attended to Mother advised the family to prepare for the worse.

Immediately I told him that I would go back to Ipoh on Fri.

11.30pm. Home after returning from self defence class in INti. TM broke the sad news that Mother had passed away. Told TM not to wait for all the family members to gather in Ipoh but to take charge of the funeral arrangements.

Daughter to stay put in her uni in Kuala Terrenganu for her exams
Told wife and son that we would have to pack up and go to Ipoh tomorrow for the funeral rites. As for daughter who is currently preparing for her end of her year exams in her uni in Kuala Terrengannu we decided to bar her from going with us despite her vehement protest over the phone. Her exam is scheduled on Sun and she might not have enough time to return to her uni after the burial to get ready for the exam. We thought that the burial will not happen earlier than Sat and it would be disrespectful to leave before the burial rites.

Mother's long illness
Mother had been suffering from severe depression, hyper-tension, diabetes and other medical ailments for about 10 years since Dad passed away 20 years ago. She gradually lost her memory and also her ability to look after herself. For the last 5 years the situation had gotten so bad that she was bedridden most of the time. All this while third brother and his wife have been caring and attending to her needs.

Accepting the inevitable and letting go
Although the death of a loved one can be difficult to accept, I feel that in her case due to the long illness with no hope of cure death should be seen as a release or liberation from earthly sufferings, both for her and to the family members.

Strangely when I heard the news, I was totally calm and even felt a sense of relief that her earth-bound sufferings had finally come to an end. When I spoke to my brothers and sister on the phone, they all sound calm and normal. I guess long time ago since Mother had become bedridden and incapable of looking after herself all of us in the family had already accepted the inevitable.

Farewell dearest mother.

May you finally gain supreme liberation and be free from all human sufferings.